Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Risqué Resolutions, House Rules, & Lunar Landings!

So I’m looking at a blank slate. A blank slate that’s peering over at me to scream “do something already!” Two weeks into the new year, when most people have already broken all their well-penned resolutions, I’ve barely chicken-scratched mine onto the back of an unpaid bill. What’s a girl to do – or, should I say, resolve that she’s going to do?
a
My initial research has uncovered some rather risqué suggestions. And in the strangest of places – I might add. Arianna Huffington wants me to “Sleep My Way to The Top,” Doctor Mehmet Oz wants me to make S-E-X a priority, even Anderson Cooper wants to get me into the bedroom! Sorry kiddos, this lil’ Scarlett is very s-i-n-g-l-e, single, and won’t be making any promises that involve her pantalettes. Back to square one.
a
And then I heard the iconic gun slinging, Wild West echoing, showdown foreshadowing music playing - you know the tune. I bet you can even imagine the fiery sun setting, that you aren’t surprised to see a dark Stetson-clad shadow step into view. That’s right . . . there’s a new Sheriff in town! And it’s time to lay down the law.
a
a
House Rules: Adapted From One Of My Favorite “Saloons”
(2010 Resolutions)
a
Please refrain from using your cell phone from anything other than texting while in the bar area
a
No hovering, no fighting, no play fighting, no talking about fighting, no star-f***ing, no name-dropping, no shenanigans. Horseplay acceptable.
a
Please be patient, each cocktail is hand crafted, and takes a bit of time.
a
You must be seated to order a drink. No seat . . . no drink.
This is to ensure our servers can get your drinks in two shakes of a cocktail.
a
Enjoy the company you keep. Men must refrain from introducing themselves to women, unless invited or introduced by a friendly party.
a
Our dress code? Preserve the sexy.
a
Make love not war. No Jager bombs, Cosmos, Appletinis.
Although we do have some wonderful alternatives.
a
We are thrilled to accommodate parties of more than six,
although we kindly request you order your first round from our carafe menu.
a
So there, let’s raise our glasses. (In translation:) To laying down the law. To putting our cell phones down and listening to each other. To being kind & authentic. To patience. To taking the time to sit for a spell. To the “company we keep” . . . or choose not to. To expressing our dreams and desires through fashion. To Love - and trying new things. And to parties of six or more who share the “carafe.”
a
Yes let’s raise our glasses and make a toast . . . This Toast, THE TOAST, the first Toast of the year . . . is one that I would like to make to one of my heroes, Mary Elisabeth Plowden.
a
She thrived at Princeton. She put in the hours at Goldman Sachs. She survived September Eleventh - and then Wharton, and now California. And no matter how tough the going gets (and – in the world of Finance - I think that we can all appreciate the fact that it’s gotten pretty tough) she’s one of the tough who keeps on going. In an Industry where the climate can be described as hostile - at best, she is one of a handful (of women, especially) who have what it takes. And she shows up, and she “Brings It” . . . every day. Words like tenacity ring trite.
a
I was reminded of this, which inspired me to put my own Sheriffin’ Badge on, at a dinner party she hosted at her Parents house. MEP once told me that her Mother advised her to “shoot for the moon” and she would at least “land among the stars.” Now, I trust Mary Jo implicitly and not just because of the number of times I heard my own Mother explain “well Mary Jo Plowden says . . . “ And it seems to me that her daughter is just about ready for a lunar landing – so Here! Here!
a
In 2010, I resolve, to cheer as loudly as is socially acceptable
as Mary Elisabeth Plowden makes a “giant leap” for Womankind.
a
And I resolve . . . to make a few “small steps” myself.

aS

Doctor Turvy Suggests

For the Wine Enthusiast, and you KNOW we'll be there!

(Ooh Girl It Is Sooo) Hot This Week!






No comments: