I don’t know about you but that Snake curled round my wrist like a bracelet of submission. So, as the lunar year drew to a close, I listened very carefully. After being stripped down, cut open from tip to top, and taken for a death roll in the mud… a fiery stallion might be the only thing that’ll get me where I intend to go.
OUT: Googling & Scrolling Turns out it is Science (not - as it has been opined - the hips) that doesn’t lie. Or maybe it’s one of those “two things can be true” deals? Back to the point… The brilliant ones have discovered that screen time over 4 hours a day has a crippling effect on your energy, cognition, and mental health. The other smart people, the ones driven by greed and unencumbered by moral compass, are putting all their efforts into a model where they get paid to keep us on that screen as long as they can manage. Our attention, our eyeballs, are being commoditzed. And the only kickback I get is Digital Dementia? No deal!
IN: Books + Notebooks Taylor Swift doesn’t need to add “Mastermind” to her CV for me to know that she is. As a student of the musician and poet, I’ve noticed two critical components to her brand of genius! First, she appears to study source material. When I imagine her baking bread, there’s a messy dog-eared cookbook open on the counter. The second? The girl takes NOTES! I’m sure of that because (well) she talks about it all the time. And also because the juxtaposition she creates between transparency and innuendo, viscerally so, allows you a window into what it’s like when a person fervidly masticates every single light bulb moment they are offered.
OUT: “Luxury” ANYTHING I haven’t experienced true luxury for quite some time. I like to think that it demurely dipped out around the same time as room service on a rolling cart. Likely embarrassed by its association with plastics - can I blame it? One minute the word Luxury is standing proud beside a white linen cart and silver discs that cover bone china plates. Butter coaxed into pretty shapes. The next it is quite literally under foot. Even yachts (these days) and million dollar houses seem to have a gaudy layer of nouveau riche that needs debriding before you find anything authentically luxurious. I suggest we let the term rest for a minute. Gather its witts. Powder its nose.
IN: Frugal + Fancy This adorable tradition developed last year amongst myself and one of my dearest friends. It begins with a “Good” brownie and a bit of Goodwill hunting. Long story short we got presents for each other at Goodwill. Then I helped my four year old best friend do the same for his friends. So like weekends in Athens lately, the whole thing snowballed and the holidays were an idyllic time, unburdened by consumerism and waste and anyone scanning the room for their next “score” - as in tearing something apart to see what’s inside. You know what makes Christmas REALLY great? Financial stability.
OUT: Space to Entertain Can we please skip to the part where people stop taking down every single wall in a house? I’m quite certain the giant beam makers would appreciate a well-deserved breather. And don’t get me started on my mortal enemy: a giant island covered in granite that doubles as the seating for a “dining table.” I don’t want a walll of clunky oversized refrigerators. That sort of flex is just lost on me. And for the love of peace, please get yourself the best soaking tub that money can buy! That’s my brand of desirable real estate.
IN: Space That Is Paid-In-Full Love grows best in little houses. Plus! You get to use the finest finishes. Ours is in the forest. And it could use a coat of paint and a new kitchen floor. But it’s often filled with the laughter of a little boy, fresh cut flowers, a simmering pot on the stove, and an abundance of remarkable artwork. Our preferred affluence is in books. Our wealth is measured in laughter and joy.
OUT: Girls’ Trips Just go ahead and count me out of anything that requires more than two Ubers to get everyone to dinner. I used to pine over the idea of them. But the more I settle into myself, the more obnoxious they seem. If I walk into a restaurant and see 14 women sitting at a table, one-upping and talking over each, I’m going to spin on my heels in retreat.
IN: Neighbor-Nights-In One of my favorite people moved into the neighborhood recently. So I hosted a mocktail toast. Booze has BEEN out. And I am an earnest student of restraint more than a successful practitioner of abstinence. But my studies, very early on, brought me to a singular conclusion: I prefer a sober soiree! Instead of leaving allllll my money at the liquor store, I had a cut flower bar and a candle design corner. These days I walk into spaces I’d have happily overindulged myself inside of till half past closing time five years ago… and they feel foreign to me. Like an old address, I know I’ll never live there again. But, like pants that are unexpectedly too big, it fits like something to celebrate. Our house comfortably fits five friends!
OUT: Obligatory Relationships Feeling entitled to my time, currency or energy? The number you are dialing has been disconnected.
IN: Equality My degree of inclusion should not be defined by: a degree, a bank statement, length of residence, waist size, or the price of my handbag. If you rank human beings with those units of measure, keep moving. If you recognize and treat me as an equal, keep talking!
OUT: “Keeping Up” Leave that nonsense to the Kartrashians. (*nickname a nod to the amount of waste the type of consumption they engage in creates. Not a personal attack.)
IN: Keeping it 100 Experience the joy of living exactly where you are! I find that focusing on the care of my financial, emotional, and physical health are the strongest foundation for this. Keep up with: your authenticity, your preferred vehicle of expression, and your moral compass. The rest is loud and messy, as things not actually meant for us typically are, but it’s none of my business. And I’d rather keep my eyes on my own paper anyway.
