I Don't Think You Ready For This Jelly!

My Aunt Almira was famous for her pepper jelly. And everybody just loved "Big Momma" Desi's Pear Preserves. I have, respectfully, stayed far, far away from either recipe - a safe distance whose flimsy buck I pass to my contemporaries. Tales of gloom and doom, "gigantic messes," and defiled saucepans had convinced me that spreadable fruits and vegetables were beyond the scope of my capability. But then again . . .

I'll try anything once.

And once was all it took. One shot! One stroll through the farmer’s market, one trip to Target for jars, and a couple (of my own unique) twists and turns later I was ready.  Are you ready?

"Ready for this!"

Really, is there any other way to eat it?  Why yes there is!
However my sausage and cream cheese in puff pastry is a recipe for another day.

3 Pepper Jelly 

2/3 Cup Jalapeno Peppers (3 with seeds, 8/10 without) 

1/3 Cup Serrano Peppers (2 with seeds, remainder without) 

*3 Habanero Peppers (1 with seeds, 2 without) 

2 Cups of Apple Cider Vinegar 

5.5 Cups of Sugar 

Liquid Pectin 

Green or Red Food Coloring 

* Use gloves to handle the habanero! 

Run the peppers in the blender. Stir the peppers into the vinegar & sugar. Bring to a boil. Boil for ten minutes. Add the pectin. Boil for an additional 5 minutes. Add the food coloring, six drops or so, according to your preference. I like green! Poor the mixture into a bowl to cool & cover. Once the jelly is at room temperature, stir & ladle into jars.

Now "can you handle, handle this?"

A Nu-Way Spicy Dog, Smothered.

Prickly Pear Preserves 

4 cups of Prickly Pear Fruit, Peeled & Diced 

2 Cups of Sugar 

6 Cups of Pears, Peeled & Chopped 

3 Tbsp Hornitos Tequila 

The Juice of 1 Lime 

2 Packages of Liquid Pectin 

Combine the diced prickly pear fruit and the sugar in a bowl, cover, and leave overnight. In the morning, separate the prickly pear syrup from the seeds and add diced pears, tequila and lime juice. Let sit overnight. The next morning, transfer to a large saucepan and bring to a rolling boil. Boil for 10 minutes and then reduce heat to an active simmer for an hour and 30 minutes or until the fruit is tender and the syrup is thick. Add the pectin. Return to a boil for 10 minutes and cool. When filling the jars, use a slotted spoon to transfer the fruit first - evenly. Then fill the jars with syrup & allow to set.

And just remember, a moment on the lips . . .

"I shake my jelly at every chance.  When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance.  I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have.  Now let's cut a rug while we scat some jazz." 

Destiny's Child