So in that endeavor, I'm going to putter around with something scary:
Number 1: Hot dogs are my love language.
Number 2: I was in a movie with Mink Stole, Karen Black, Pleasant Gehman, Jane Wiedlin, Susan Traylor & Starina Johnson. I didn’t get a speaking part, though. Likely because I told the Director, who arrived on my doorstep (to secure my participation) early in the morning after a very late dinner party, that I wasn’t receiving unannounced guests at “this” hour. Which was not a tactic. I care more about manners than proximity to fame.
Number 3: I’ve yet to find a single morsel that can’t be improved by the addition of capers or hot sauce.
Number 4: In 2000, Coyote Ugly debuted in theaters. In 1996, as a bartender on Bourbon Street, I struck a deal with my bar back. I would dance the Macarena on top of the bar (Denim shirt/shorts and Doc Martins) to pull focus over to our side of the massive space. He would bartend. We’d split the loot. I retired in ’98.
Number 5: I wrote a book about cheeseburgers.
Number 6: I was abused as a child, and as a teenager. Assaulted as an adult. And have absorbed multiple traumatic bodily injuries throughout my life. When you pair the emotional abuse with the physical trauma, I’m not entirely sure how I survived at all. But I am profoundly aware of being protected by a source that is greater than myself. That being said… I have also had some success treating my own PTSD and no longer suffer from the more debilitating side effects of that illness.
Number 7: I did not finish College. But my friend Betty Sweet once looked at me and said "Ashley, a MORON can graduate from college." So, instead of pining for what I don’t have, I learned to celebrate the vast trove of valuable skills getting this far has bestowed upon me.
Number 8: I fully staffed the first Macon Film Festival in under 24 hours. We called it MaGa. So there are more than a few sentimental tees I’ll never wear in public again.
Number 9: I once attended “Pleasure Boot Camp” at Kripalu in the Berkshires. It was hosted by Regina Thomashauer who wrote Mama Gena’s Owner’s & Operator’s Guide to Men. I organized a semi-unauthorized Lake break-in (our homework was to bend the rules), late night skinny dip, clothing-optional hike (most of us tied our garments into a turban), and tea circle around a fire we made with the New York Times + hairspray. It earned me a title from my kindreds: The Martha Stewart of Bad Girls.
Number 10: I know more 90’s hip hop lyrics by heart than you do. So if you’re lookin’ to lose … you know where to find me podnah.
Number 11: I’m a judge at the Forest Heights Blueberry Festival Cook-off next weekend - 5/31. Who’s coming to see us???
I hope you enjoyed the round-up! Now you know.
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